Pump Up Your Book Chats with Dog Memoir Author Barbara Lampert

Barbara Lampert is a Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in relationships. She’s been in private practice in Brentwood, California for over twenty years. She considers her work a calling and loves what she does. She has a doctorate in medical sociology and two master’s degrees – one in psychology and one in sociology. Barbara has adored dogs her whole life. They’re her passion! She notes that for a lot of people, their dogs are their best friends. She loves helping people know that’s ok – that a soul-satisfying relationship may be found with any being and needs to be treasured. Besides her love of dogs, Barbara is an avid gardener and finds herself gardening in much of her spare time. She sees her garden as a work of art. She loves being in nature – the miracle of growth, the ever-changing landscape, its beauty. Today Barbara lives happily in Malibu, California with her husband David (married twenty-eight years!) and their six-year-old Golden Retriever, Harry. Barbara hopes that Charlie: A Love Story will be a tribute not only to a magnificent dog but to all dogs everywhere. You can visit her website at www.charliealovestory.com.

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ABOUT CHARLIE: A LOVE STORY

Charlie: A Love Story tells of the beautiful love between Charlie, a Golden Retriever, and the author, Barbara Lampert. It takes place in Malibu, California. When Charlie turned eleven years old and started having some health problems, a journal Barbara was keeping about her garden quickly became mostly about Charlie. Charlie: A Love Story is an intimate look at an incredible connection between a canine and a human. And as a psychotherapist who specializes in relationships, Barbara brings that sensibility and understanding to Charlie’s story as well. Charlie was Barbara’s loyal confidante and best friend. He was indomitable, had a zest for life and an uncanny emotional intelligence. Charlie: A Love Story is about devotion, joy, loss, and renewal, about never giving up or giving in. But mostly it’s about an extraordinary dog and an extraordinary relationship.

Q. Thanks for stopping by, Barbara! Can you tell us why you wrote your book?

I wrote Charlie: A Love Story because Charlie was the most inspiring being I’ve ever known, and I felt that his story had to be told. Besides which, I needed to write about him. He and I had always been extremely close. Charlie’s story happened so organically, coming out of a gardening journal that had quickly turned into a journal about him when he turned eleven years old and started having some health problems. Writing about him gave me another chance to be close to him and to deal with my feelings about him. His light, hopeful attitude in the face of strife was a marvel to watch. He was a joy to be with, no matter what was going on. My journal was not initially meant for publication – because of its intimate detail I’d always thought of it as private – but here we are.

Q. Would you like to tell us about your home life? Where you live? Family? Pets?

I live across from the beach in Malibu, California on almost an acre of land. I’ve loved dogs all my life and have had at least one dog for most of my life. At one point, my husband David and I had four dogs and two cats. That was fun. Now we have one dog, Harry, a six-year-old Golden Retriever. More than a little partial to Golden Retrievers, I’d say.

I’m a psychotherapist specializing in relationships and have been licensed for over twenty years. My work is my calling and I love what I do. I find it so challenging and rewarding.

I’ve never had children. All I’ve ever wanted are dogs. Fortunately my husband loves dogs tremendously, too.

I’ve had various jobs: flight attendant for nine years, teaching at various universities and some fairly odd jobs, like my first one, selling corn all day long at age fifteen. A lot of these jobs were needed so that I could put myself through school. I have a number of advanced degrees, including a doctorate in medical sociology and two master’s degrees, one in psychology and one in sociology. I loved going to school. I love learning. I love to read. Speaking of that, I read voraciously – books, magazines, whatever is in front of me. My favorite contemporary author is Anne Tyler. My favorite not-so-contemporary author is Hermann Hesse.

Writing is fun for me. I love to write, and it was so much fun turning my journal into a book – a book about a being I loved and love tremendously.

You can learn more about Charlie’s story, about Charlie, and about me by visiting our website, www.charliealovestory.com.

Q. Where’s your favorite place to write at home?

As I think of it now, I get a warm feeling. It’s in the back of our house, in a room somewhat set apart from the rest of the house. It’s quiet and plush, with white carpeting, a cream-colored couch, and lots of pillows. One white wood bookcase and another large white wood cabinet with mesh doors that stay open.  The cabinet is very wide (five feet or so) and about six feet tall, with lots of decorative pieces in it. I love the look of it – so interesting and beautiful. There are two white wood end tables, one with glass in the middle. There’s a little white desk with a white chair (both wood). There’s wide window over the couch that looks out onto many trees. And then there’s a soft lavender leather chair that is so comfortable, with a matching ottoman. It’s in that chair that I like to write. The room is like a beautiful, quiet cave. So conducive to hearing myself think. I could stay in there and write for days.

Q. Does your book have an underlying message that readers should know about?

Charlie’s story can be read on many levels, and implicit in it are many messages:

• A good relationship is hard to find, and when you do find one, make the most of it, cherish it. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a person or a dog, a cat, a bird, or any other animal: that relationship matters.
• Don’t take life or time for granted. Both are limited. Make the very most of your time. Live in the moment fully.
• Have things that you do that make you happy. They help when there are troubles. Loss is universal and is something we all must deal with, but there’s beauty in life, no matter what.
• Don’t take no for an answer: forge ahead, no matter what. Don’t give up until the very last door closes.
• Little twists of fate can make a huge difference in your life.
• There’s so much that’s unknown and uncontrollable, but often things work in ways that only make sense when looking back.
• Listen to your heart and your instincts.
• Love is essential and has great power to heal.
• Home and family are paramount.
• Don’t be afraid to give as much as you can. Giving is at the heart of a good life.
• Take really good care of those you love, including yourself.
• Take really good care of any animal you bring into your home. They are dependent on you. Dogs, in particular, are pack/family beings. Most dogs want to be part of your family. You are at the center of their life. They will give to you unconditionally, and they so appreciate it when you give to them in the same way. Dogs are the only species that has made friends with our species. They deserve the best!
• Try to have fun with your beautiful dog, pet, animal no matter what’s going on. Dogs are joyful, and they love happiness more than anything.  Mostly, dogs are all about love.

I think many of the key principles in life are encapsulated in Charlie’s story, but in a very subtle way.

In a recent fifteen-minute online interview at Conversations Live!, host Cyrus Webb and I discussed in greater depth how my book conveys these underlying messages. You can hear that interview at: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/middayconversations/2012/03/15/author-barbara-lampert-tobin-blake-on-conversations-live.

Q. Which part of the book was the hardest to write?

I would have to say the ending. And because I don’t want to give the ending away, this question is difficult for me to answer. But I’ll try, and I hope you’ll understand what I’m talking about.

There were a number of places in my book where Charlie’s story could have ended and where that ending would have made sense. But I felt that if I ended it in any of those places, it would be missing a truly satisfying sense of completion, which I really wanted his story to have. I think that with the ending that’s in the book, Charlie’s story finally came full circle, which for me was the best ending possible.

Q. Your book has just been awarded a Pulitzer. Who would you thank?

First, I would have to thank Charlie for being so inspiring that I was compelled to write about him. I would thank him for being so loyal and for giving me so much and healing me so much. I would thank him for being such a great dog!

After Charlie I would thank David. First for being more than ok with my relationship with Charlie. Completely understanding it, not being jealous, actually encouraging it, and for caring for Charlie as much as he did. All of which left me free to be with Charlie, to love him and to write about him.  No nagging feelings about how David would feel. And besides all this, David gave more than generously of his time and energy and editing expertise to my book. He supported me in every way possible throughout the editing and publishing process. David is a master of the English language and a published poet, and he brought that sensibility to editing my manuscript. He watched over other editors who edited my book, making sure that my voice was not lost.  Bottom line: I don’t think I could have produced this book or felt so good about it without David’s help. He believed in me and the story I had to tell. There’s more that David did, but I think you get the message.

Others I would thank would be my publisher, Langdon Street Press, for being patient with my perfectionism, my publicist Kevin for being so enthusiastic, and my website architect Jessie, who helped me create a beautiful website.

And I’d thank all the other people – my family, my friends, and many others – who have been so supportive of me during this long, arduous process.

Q. How do you think promotion has changed over the years?

That the author has to do lots of promoting is still the same. But what has really changed is that probably one of the best ways of promoting a book now is via the internet. You can reach so many people in so many places that you couldn’t not so many years ago.  The blog tour that I’m on is probably one of the best promotional activities I’ve done. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t think that an author should rely totally on the internet, but it should be a part of any promotion plan. When I finish the tour, I’m sure I’ll have more to say, but to me it appears to be essential to promote on the internet.

I’ve done lots on my own to promote my book. And, at least for me, there’s nothing like meeting someone in person, talking about my book, and listening to others talk about themselves and how my story has either helped them or how they think it might help. And there’s nothing like seeing the look in someone’s eyes after they’ve read my book tell me what it’s meant to them. Though I love getting emails from people expressing their thoughts and feelings about my book as well. To know that my words have touched someone is one of the most wonderful feelings in the world.

And promoting on my own has produced some wonderful results. My book is now in three book stores, including a Barnes & Noble, I’ve had one fantastic book signing at Tecolote Book Shop in Montecito, and two other book signings are in the works. I have my five-by-seven-inch postcards in so many places in my home town of Malibu and in Montecito. My publisher sent out more than thirty media contact letters, which garnered some wonderful reviews and spots in newspapers. I sent letters personally to about twelve other well-respected and well-known authors and received some wonderful endorsements, two of which are on the back cover of my book. There’s more, but the point I’m trying to make is that as an author it is also really important that, in addition to promoting on the internet, you get out and represent your book and meet people in person.

Q. What do you do to get away from it all?

Be with dogs as much as possible, mine or other people’s. Play with them, watch them, kiss them. Anything dog makes me forget anything that might be bothering me. Being with dogs is calming for me.  I love dog energy!

Garden and garden and garden. I love to garden. And to design gardens. I love plants and trees and the miracle of growth. And I even love the mundane activities of gardening, like raking and watering. I lose track of time while I’m gardening, and after even an hour, or many hours, I feel so good, so refreshed.

And then about an hour up the road is Montecito. What a beautiful calming place. It’s a place that feels more civilized, that has the most beautiful gardens, more thoughtful people, a permeating gentleness, no tall buildings, not a lot of street signs, landscaping that is not manicured but mostly natural, trees hanging over the streets, big trees, clean air. A paradise, at least for me. And to top it all off, they love dogs! Dogs everywhere, and being cared for beautifully. Montecito is one of the most beautiful places on earth. I’ve been going there for almost thirty years, still love it just as much. Usually it’s just a for a few hours, but sometimes it’s for a few days. As soon as I enter the area, there’s a calm that starts to come over me. It’s one of my spiritual homes.

Q. If you could be anywhere in the world other than where you are right now, where would that place be?

Living in Malibu is wonderful. I live right across the street from the ocean and it’s beautiful. I have a gorgeous garden I created that brings me so much pleasure, and there’s so much more that I love about where I am right now. But, and here’s the big BUT, I love islands, and I love the tropics. I’ve lived in Hawaii and travelled to many tropical places. Of all of them, the place I‘d love to be right now is on the Tahitian island of Huahine (one of the Society Islands). I was there quite a few years ago and I’ve never forgotten it. One of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been. The bluest, clearest water.  And when I was there, the island was largely undeveloped and quite wild. That’s the picture I have in my head. I don’t know if it exists today. But being on that island, I felt very far away.

Q. Thank you so much for this interview, Barbara. Do you have any final words?

Again, thank you so much for giving me this opportunity to answer these wonderful questions as well as to connect with more people and talk about Charlie’s story and what is involved in producing a book.

Some final words: Do exactly what you love! If you have to write and love it, then do it.  If you write nonfiction, write about what you know and what means a lot to you. That can be so rewarding. Write because you have to. Write from your heart, from the core of you.

Live every day to its fullest. Life is very precious. We all know these words, but they’re very true.

And if you have a dog or a cat or any other pet, give them the best life possible. Dogs in particular are the only species that has befriended our species. Be as good to them and give them as much as you can. Do it just for them, because of who they are and how much they give. And know that you are the center of their world, that you’re everything to these beautiful beings.

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