Surviving Sexual Brokenness Virtual Book Tour May 2011

Surviving Sexual Brokenness

Join Thom Hunter, author of the sexuality/relationships/inspirational bookSurviving Sexual Brokenness: What Grace Can Do (Westbow Press), as he virtually tours the blogosphere in May 2011 on his first virtual book tour with Pump Up Your Book!

About Thom Hunter

Thom Hunter Thom Hunter is a Christian married father of five who fought, fell and rose again to fight against unwanted same-sex attraction. He encourages others to press on, moving beyond excuses, to claim responsibility and power through the Grace of God. Thom believes the church has failed in its responsibility to provide hope and healing for those who struggle with sexual brokenness.

Thom is a former newspaper and magazine editor, journalism professor and speech-writer. He spent 20 years with AT&T as a public relations executive and chief of staff. He now writes and speaks full-time.

Surviving Sexual Brokenness: What Grace Can Do is his third and most recent book.

You can visit his website at www.thomhunter.com or his blog at www.signsoffastruggleblog.com.  Connect with him on Twitter at http://twitter.com@Thomasthefree and Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/thom.hunter.

About Surviving Sexual Brokenness: What Grace Can Do

Surviving Sexual Brokenness Who are the sexually-broken?

A man with his wife at the table on the other side of the restaurant is polite but distracted.

A woman at work stares out her office window with a blank expression, her mind far away.

A father wraps his arm around his daughter in the church pew; his eyes are on the pulpit, but his mind wanders.

What about the college student on the soccer field or in the library? The doctor prepping for surgery? The realtor showing the house next door? The mailman on your front porch. Your Sunday school teacher . . . perhaps even your preacher.

These people may be dominated by some form of sexual brokenness, from pornography to adultery to unwanted homosexual temptation. They share a secret they hope and pray will never be revealed. The urge to “act out” in their brokenness is destroying them because it conflicts with a life they have already chosen.

They don’t know how to live with it; they don’t know how to be rid of it. They may not know what caused it; they only want to “cure” it. “Am I just a misplaced homosexual?” “Did God make me this way?” “Why won’t He change me?”

Surrounding them are the ones who sense something is amiss but have no clue what to do or where to find help. They may be confused by the teachings of the church: love the sinner; hate the sin. This seemingly Biblical response can actually send the message to the struggler that he is, in fact, unlovable because his identity seems inseparable from his sin.

Read the excerpt!

This is No Place for Cowards

I carry the past that each day I chose
One step to another . . . now everyone knows.
It isn’t the past I would have wanted to claim
But it is my past . . . it is mine just the same.

I wonder sometimes about all of this
Can there be no exchanging what was for what is?
Will there be no will be because of what’s done?
Will yesterday’s darkness eclipse today’s sun?

Is forgiveness a mystery, a want too far-flung?
Is healing a melody not to be sung?
Is change just a hold-out, dangled just past the grasp?
Is grace to be rationed . . . with some of us passed?

No mystery, no silence, withholding or ration
But clearly and justly and full of compassion
Forgiveness and grace for changing and healing
Are given to us through our Savior’s revealing.

Through faith in His love, through trust in His grace,
Our past just becomes our starting-out place.
He is there when we stumble, He is there when we stand
If we rise through the strength of His out-stretched hand.

— Thom Hunter

It stands to reason to me that if we, as Christians, can embrace the idea that bad things happen to good people . . . then we would be able to wrap our arms around the idea that good people — even Christians — do a fair amount of those bad things. And then we could wrap our good Christian arms around those that did it and those that hid it at the same time we comfort those that got pummeled by it. “It” being sin. Surely our arms are bigger than we let on. Surely, there is mercy and forgiveness and grace abounding. Surely we can restore the sinner with the same hope we rescue the sinned-against. Surely God’s love — which is to be in us — is enough to cover all.

Surely.

We’re so concerned with preserving goodness that we blind ourselves to the ever-threatening badness, fooling ourselves into thinking we can purge it, despite God’s clear warning it will always be with us. We need to deal with it, not delude ourselves into thinking that our purity affords us some protection He didn’t even offer His own Son. We think if we deal harshly with those who have succumbed to temptation that we might find ourselves somehow supernaturally separated from it and unable to fall. Look out below.

We’re so determined to flee that we opt for banishment instead of reconstruction. Go weep and wail and gnash your teeth; we’re praising in here. We build walls where we should build alliances against the evil that is stripping others bare right before our eyes. Sometimes we bow down in solitude when we should stand in solidarity. We nurse our own little nicks from contact with sin rather than addressing the gaping wounds of those who are being slashed to pieces from within.
We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all. — Isaiah 53:6

Did you get that? All. Each. If you know someone who thinks somehow he is not one of the sheep; has not gone astray; has not turned to his own way . . . pray for him. His sins weigh as heavily as yours, but his blinders are a deeper tint.

We pray “give me Your eyes . . . give me Your heart . . . give me Your hands.” Why? So we can see . . . and feel . . . and do, like He would do. We don’t pray “blind me and bind me and callous my heart.” Yet we sometimes pray “hide me in the cleft of the rock,” but for all the wrong reasons. Not for security and salvation . . . but for refuge from the challenging restlessness of the world in which He placed us.

This is no place for cowards.

This is a place for courage.

Courage to carry out courageous commandments.
A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, that you love one another. — John 13:34-35.

That you . . . judge . . . one another? That you . . . condemn . . . one another? That you . . . shame . . . one another? That you . . . blame . . . one another? That you . . . reject . . . one another? That you . . . remove . . . one another? That you . . . ignore . . . one another?

No. Love.

We’re not here forever: we’re there forever. Glory. But, while we temporarily reside in gory, with glory in our future, can we not be a bit less cautious? A little less cringing before the mess? Our knees are meant to help us surrender, but it is to Him we surrender so we can rise in His righteousness, not so we can hide beneath His robes.

This is the world, chock-full with God’s creation, from yellow butterflies floating in glorious freeness to hardened murderers pacing concrete cells, from babies cooing to drunkards cursing, from couples pledging forever fidelity to adulterers pursuing destructive infidelity, from children sitting on a sunset beach with a snow cone to children crowded into a dark room longing for a cracker, from a grandmother knitting booties while rocking next to a table filled with pictures of her legacy, to a grandfather striving to picture all the ones who come behind him but choose not to know him.

This is the world, bright and dingy, clear and cloudy, green and gray, life-giving and death-dealing, abundant and barren, pure and stained, refreshing and repelling, blissful and blighted, rejoicing and recoiling, accepting and rejecting. It turns toward us with outstretched hands; it turns against us with a slap. It heals; it hurts. There is so much give and take that we often know not what we have or for how long.

This is no place for cowards.

We are much too often the brute beast instead of the bleating sheep. And yet . . . He is with us always.

I remember taking a walk along a railroad trestle with my sexual abuser when I was about eight. It was on one of the most beautiful days I remember. We stood on the trestle overlooking a perfectly clear and babbling stream that danced upon smooth rocks far below. And I found myself trusting the one who was trying to destroy me for his personal and temporary satisfaction. The sadness of the damage done was overwhelmed by the beauty of the scene in which it had all taken place and the comfort of camouflaged caring.

There were times in the future that I would wish he had tossed me from the trestle to the rocks below like an empty soft drink bottle. Would it have been better to have forever left the brokenness on the rocks below than to have carried it along on the tracks of life?

God has plans. This is no place for cowards.

I am so blessed by those who struggle in determination, realizing there is no guarantee they will overcome the temptation attached to this side of eternity. Still, they hope and pray and trust and obey . . . and if they fall, they rise again to hope and pray and trust and obey. I am encouraged by those who climb free from the suffocating mess and turn and cheer the ones behind them. I am energized by the relative few who reach into a mess they do not understand and offer a hand to those whose hands are dripping from the muck and mire . . . and pull and grasp and refuse to let go, even when the slime makes the grip almost impossible. They do not give up; they do not flee; they love . . . and pull.

There is such a thing as glory. We can see hints of it and they are given to us not to make us content here, but to make us intent to enter that glory someday beside those who might never have glimpsed it but through us. Hand-in-hand with the ones who would have given up and given in and gone down into the gore were it not for the sacrifice of our selves on the banks of their destruction.

This is no place for cowards.

I have exchanged the anger I once had for the spiritually-blind and churchianity-bound self-proclaimed saints for pity. What an unattractive flock. Yet, I am aware that if one of them strays — even into that pure-white blindness of their own self-sustaining spirituality — Christ will go out of His way to bring them in and keep them safe. Some of them need to be saved from themselves.

Yes . . . I hurt others because of my decades of enslavement to same-sex attraction. I was selfish . . . or at the least the self I thought I was was selfish. Sometimes we feed a person inside who was never invited but has become like home-folk. That sinful guy becomes very loyal, even in his unlimited demanding. He has his own view of the world, and it’s based on desire. He is determined to get what he wants.

To quote the Borg from Star Trek:

“Resistance is futile.”

Or, to quote God:
This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God. – I John 5:3-5

Feed the bleating beast’s insatiable demands? Futility. Obey God’s commands which “are not burdensome?” Victory. Love. Overcoming.

Christ came and died and rose again not to insulate us from the sins of others, but to free us from the burden of our own, that being death, which He conquered in our place. And, in His great love for us, He gives us the desire to work as we can to defeat the sins we still bear. That great love should cause us to willingly bear with others the weight of the sins they have yet to conquer.

But what of judgment? Does it not stand to reason we should suffer and be punished and die a thousand deaths for the darkness we have dabbled in and dealt to others? Don’t we need to add a little spice to the consequences? Drive it all home? JUDGE?
Moreover, the Father judges no one, but has entrusted all judgment to the Son. — John 5:22

Judgment has already taken place. Jesus bore it; my sins and yours adding to the weight. Yes, I will account for all my sins when I stand . . . finally and forever . . . before the King. The King who entrusted all judgment to the Son.

This is the world. The world that Satan wants to rule; the world that Jesus wants to love. The world that Satan came to kill; the world that Jesus came to save.

Jesus was no coward.

Watch the Trailer!

Here’s what critics are saying about Surviving Sexual Brokenness: What Grace Can Do!

I do not hesitate to recommend this book and I cannot imagine any person who would not benefit from reading it. The issues surrounding sex and sexuality and how we respond to them, particularly in the areas of sexual sin are going to be a flashpoint for years to come. If you want to be prepared ahead of time instead of scrambling for wisdom in how to respond in the wake of a crash and burn disaster, you should read what Thom has shared. His wisdom from experience will provide grace for the reader and insight for the storm. I am grateful to him for providing me a copy to read so that I could equip myself and those around me for the days ahead.

— SBC Voices

This book is written in short chapters that give you a chance to take it in and digest, and figure out what to do. But also it’s an easy read, very illustrated, and on layman’s terms that make it easy to read in large sections as well. Most of all, you realize that God’s grace and forgiveness is for you and not just those “other people” but for you, the broken. No book can take away your heartache and struggles but it can point you to the one who can, Jesus. This is a book that I will be rereading and passing along to others as well. Through the communication of one mans struggles comes another man’s healing. Thanks Thom, you are appreciated.

— Barnes & Noble

Surviving Sexual Brokenness Virtual Book Tour Schedule

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books kk Monday, May 2

Book spotlighted at Literarily Speaking

Wednesday, May 4

Interviewed at Beyond the Books

“I chose the traditional-publishing route with my first two books. As hard as it is to believe, the time when a writer could bypass even agents and go directly to publishers with a great book idea was not that long ago. I was able to that with my first two books and enjoyed it very much.”

Thursday, May 5

Guest blogging at As the Pages Turn

“God, in His kindness, reveals to us our brokenness, which brings to us our tears of repentance, which drop to soften the hardened soil of our life in which he plants his new seeds and healing grows.”

Friday, May 6

Interviewed at The Writer’s Life

“I was identified by a teacher in the 7th grade who was the first person to ever use the word “gifted” to refer to me in any way. I hung on to that and have been writing since. I probably wrote well before then, but never allowed anyone to read it. I can not remember when I was not writing. Now I really am one of those writers who must.”

Monday, May 9

Guest blogging at The Book Faery Reviews

“Do it all again if you have to. Distance yourself from strife . . . remember your right to be a child of God . . . realize His enduring love for you . . . resist the devil . . .be receptive to God’s work through others. These good things do not change”

Wednesday, May 11

Guest participant at Literarily Speaking May 2011 Book Panel

“At the moment, Facebook is my favorite. I post links to my blog there and receive great feedback. Many of these contacts eventually turn into book buyers. It’s important, however, to truly be a “friend,” on Facebook and not just a marketer. I read and comment on a lot of links and status updates and do so remembering that the person who wrote them is real and wants attention, not just a marketing pitch. I am working to develop a better feel for Twitter, but Facebook is my favorite.”

Thursday, May 12

Interviewed at Examiner

“I saw around me many men and women who, like me, had wanted to live the dream of perfect spouse, great parent, reputable member of the community…and found themselves being pulled under by relentless sexual temptation.  Their lives, like mine, had become a struggle for survival.  I wanted to offer encouragement and truth, but with compassion.”

Friday, May 13

Interviewed at Book Marketing Buzz

“WestBow Press conducted a targeted e-mail campaign, designed postcards, bookmarks and flyers, and also designed a web page to complement my blog. Of course, each service did cost, so I would suggest authors consider carefully what promotional services are actually effective with their audience.”

Monday, May 16

Book spotlighted at Review From Here

Tuesday, May 17

Book trailer spotlighted at If Books Could Talk

Wednesday, May 18

Interviewed at The Book Connection

Thursday, May 19

Interviewed at Blogcritics

Friday, May 20

Interviewed at American Chronicle

Monday, May 23

Interviewed at Working Writers

Tuesday, May 24

Guest blogging at Literal Exposure

Wednesday, May 25

Guest blogging at The Book Bin

Thursday, May 26

Guest blogging at Authors Book Corner

Friday, May 27

Interviewed at Pump Up Your Book

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Thom Hunter’s SURVIVING SEXUAL BROKENNESS VIRTUAL BOOK TOUR ‘10 will officially begin on May 2 and end on May 27 ’11. Please contact Dorothy Thompson at thewriterslife@yahoo.com if you are interested in hosting and/or reviewing his book or click here to use the form. Thank you!

If you would like to book your own virtual book tour with us, click here to find out how!

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