Pump Up Your Book Chats with Megan van Eyck

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Megan van Eyck lives near Seattle, Washington with her husband and children.

Memoirs of a Widowed Mistress is her first memoir.

You can visit Megan’s website at www.widowedmistress.com.

Q: Can you tell us why you wrote your book?

A: I wrote Memoirs of a Widowed Mistress because I thought my unique story might shed insight on the nature and motivations of infidelity. I also hoped to humanize the mistress; to show that she is a woman who may be more like someone’s sister or best friend rather than the stereotype of bed-crawling temptress.

Q: Which part of the book was the hardest to write?

A: I wanted to not only chronicle my whirlwind love affair, I also wanted to examine my motivations for seeking out a dysfunctional relationship.

The bottom line is that, as a child, the love I received was always twisted and abusive. My mother was a narcissistic bi-polar hoarder who used me for child-support checks and the roof over our heads. She taught me some crazy things about my worthiness as a person and love. Anyhow, writing about that period of my life was very challenging since I had to make sense of fragmented memories and buried emotions in order to share them. However, the process was very cathartic and worthwhile.

Q: Does your book have an underlying message that readers should know about?

A: Yes, there are two actually. The first is that the way you love your children is the way they will love themselves. The second is that many people seek out affairs because they feel unloved with their spouse and are biding their time, waiting for the spouse they fell in love with to return to them.

Q: Do you remember when the writing bug hit?

A: Yes. When I finished my book, and had nothing else to write, I realized that writing is something that I really enjoy. My family is preparing to embark on a move to The Netherlands…I am sure something will evolve from our upcoming adventures in Europe.

Q: Do you have a writing tip you’d like to share?

A: Embrace writer’s block. For me, the block occurred when m subconscious was working through things I was unable to articulate. Once I accepted that, I knew that a bout with a block meant a week off writing. Things always went smoothly once I returned and a fresh perspective always arose from the time alone with my thoughts.

Q: Where’s your favorite place to write at home?

A: I love to write at my desk in the early morning, before the sun rises and my thoughts are still crisp in my mind.

Q: What do you do to get away from it all?

A: The joke would be that I had an affair to get away from it all; to take reprieve from my crumbling marriage. But now that my secrets are out, and my husband and I are working on improving our marriage, I am very content to live in the moment in a life that is a gift. I don’t want to get away from anything.

Q: What was the first thing you did as far as promoting your book?

A: I contacted Dorothy at Pump Up Your Book to arrange a blog tour.

Q: Are you familiar with the social networks and do you actively participate?

A: The social element of being a modern day author is very difficult for me, as I tend to be a bit shy. But I am consistently active on Facebook; I like the direct social connection. I am also a bit active on Twitter. Links to both my Facebook and Twitter accounts, along with the first chapter of my book, can be found on my website: www.widowedmistress.com.

Q: How do you think book promotion has changed over the years?

A: From what I have heard, authors carry the bulk of the responsibility for promoting their books. Publishing houses are doing less for their authors and expecting more from them.

Q: What is the most rewarding aspect of being an author?

A: I love it when someone, who has read my book, writes to me. I have found other women who have shared a similar set of circumstances and that is very rewarding.

Q: If you had one wish, what would that be?

A: All I have ever wanted was to be happy…and in love.

Q: If you could be anywhere in the world other than where you are right now, where would that place be?

A:Hawaii has always felt like home to me. If I could, I’d relocate my family to The Big Island in a heartbeat.

Q: Your book has just been awarded a Pulitzer. Who would you thank?

A: I would thank my husband, for encouraging me to publish it.

Q: Thank you so much for this interview, Megan.

A: Thank you so much for having me. This has been fun.

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Aiken Brown, SON OF A SOLDIER

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Miri Leshem-Pelly, SCRIBBLE & AUTHOR

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Bacon Press Books

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Madeline Wynn, DAUGHTER OF THE FALLEN

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Mary Lawlor, FIGHTER PILOT'S DAUGHTER

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Karen-Anne Stewart, ASH TO STEELE

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Question of the Day

How do you make sales happen for you?

A lot of hard work! I sponsor a lot of on line parties, festivals and contests. Book sales don’t magically happen, believe me. An author has to work hard to earn her readers. And then she has to work hard to keep them by giving them something they’ll enjoy reading. I try hard to make my books worth a reader’s time.

-- Sheila Roberts, Author of Winter at the Beach